Lucian And Darkki

I’m so in love with Lucian.  I love her so much.  Waking up next to her, it’s just so nice.  I can’t think of anything else I would rather see first thing in the morning…  She is so beautiful.

Today during school my friend Mel pointed out my tummy and how it is slightly bulging. I noticed this for a bit but it was really prominent today cause of the type of pants I am wearing (really tight sweatpants).

I can’t type today.

Is it Thursday yet?

And he will be a wonderful father.

My mental health has slowly been declining. I really really need to get some help with my issues yet I do not want to be shoved under a microscope and have someone who thinks they know me, when they don’t know shit about who I am, tell me what to do and how to act. I also don’t want to be so medicated I can’t wipe my ass.

Today, 10 years ago, the world lost one the greatest rockers to exist, Hideto ‘hide’ Matsumoto. Hide is not only known for his involvement with X Japan or for his solo career. He was also known for his unlimited kindness, donating to many charities and getting people motivated to participate or donate for those charities. Hide’s music is new sounding, even today and even after death hide continues to influence many new and old artists. I ask all of you to take a moment to remember hide and if you do not know who is is, look him up on youtube. He is an amazing artist and person whose tragic death shook the world ten years ago.

On to other things, I am sorry I have not posted recently. I’ve been rather caught up in life. After the recent escapades with my mate on the weekend of the 18-20 of April, I believed I was pregnant. Last night I was devastated by a negative pregnancy test. Now, it has only been around 2 weeks since the acts and it may have possibly been to early to take the test. I honestly believe this because of the fact that I have basically every symptom in the book and a belly that is, bigger than I remember (when I put on my shorts and my cami I notice that my top can’t cover my stomach and it is spilling a little bit over my shorts that fit when I got them at the beginning of the month. My stomach is also firm). Now, I will wait it out a little bit longer and take another test. I plan to call a pregnancy center and to talk to someone there to see really when I should take the test.

Also, I had practice AP tests this week. So, that has been my life as of now.